I learned a lot from my husband, Ed, during all these years of his illness, and I didn’t realize how much I learned until he died.
I learned what it really means to be a Caregiver:
I learned that it takes an enormous amount of patience, even when there is none left.
I learned that listening to what he had to say was important to him, even when it was a strain to hear him.
I learned that basic needs in life are sufficient. As long as there were enough Stouffer’s meals in the freezer, and pretzels, cheese, chips and his favorite candy to munch on, Ed felt he was well fed until I got home from work to fix his dinner. Eating out on Friday and Saturday nights was a highlight of his week, and his favorite meal was spaghetti with extra sauce.
Most of all, I learned what it means to forgive – about being kind and about being brave. He asked for forgiveness and said, ‘I’m sorry’ and showed kindness when he needed others to be compassionate. More importantly, he had the courage to let go, as he felt he couldn’t hang on anymore.
I am asking everyone, if there is a need for forgiveness, be genuinely sorry, and learn to move on in life, and not dwell on the hurts and blames of yesterday. Be compassionate to others, and learn to give of yourselves. Life is not about what you look like, or what you have, or how much money you make. Be generous and share what you have. Give your time to those who need you.
I think that is what Ed’s life was about for me, as I learned all of these lessons. I am grateful for this chapter in my life, and I am thankful for having the privilege of being a part of Ed’s journey as well.
_________- Cathy Knapp Kysar

You are not just a face
That I see lying there . . .
You are the life that is in us all. . .
Desperately trying to hang on.
Your body is not just the shell
Being prodded and poked on. . .
It is the creation of God
So long ago.
Your eyes open as they look
To see who comforts you. . .
It is not just me
That looks deep into your soul. . .
God’s love is revealed as He
Makes us realize. . .
That nothing, but nothing lasts
Forever here on earth.
Look at me now, for I know
I may be in your place one day. . .
Desperately looking to see someone,
Who will reach out to me. . .
And wonder. . .if Jesus is there. . .
C. Kysar